We’ve seen it in movies, on TV. But that’s not “real” life, we think. Entertainment.
Then it becomes real. For everyone. On news shows, sports shows, internet – you name it. We witness the sudden, reflexive act of violence. But the raw, indifferent abuse continues on this incapacitated woman as her fiancé unapologetically drags her from the elevator to the hall. Remorse? Regret? Concern? Nah. Not at all. No panic, no regard for her well-being is demonstrated. Clearly this is not that big a deal to him. Think this has happened before? Uh, yeah. I’m betting.
It is so easy for people on the outside looking in to wonder “Why did she marry him? Why is she with him?’. It’s an incredibly complex issue. It starts and ends with the mind, not the fist. Those who abuse. Those who are abused.
It’s power. It’s insecurity. It’s manipulation. It’s dangerous.
It’s inexcusable. Yet, it happens.
1.3 million women a year are abused by a domestic partner….as far as we know. Domestic abuse, as with rape, is underreported because the burden of conviction is excruciating and frustrating. The added complexities of domestic abuse – fear, insecurity, financial dependence, safety, and even love – make it difficult for victims of abuse to escape their situation. This needs to change. Though it hurts my heart that this women’s personal life has taken the media by storm – without her permission – I do believe it will be used as an impetus for change.
And I have a feeling we are on the cusp of big change.
But change can’t happen unless we – as a community of humane individuals – become vocal against this unacceptable behavior.
Listen to your inner voice.
Keep the conversation going….stop the silence of shame, judgement, and blame.
MEN – I’m speaking to you, too. This is NOT a woman’s issue.
It’s a family issue, a community issue, a human issue.
Watch this TedTalk video for an inside look at domestic violence. Remember – it may not be you or your partner, but it could be your friend, family, neighbor….or your child.
Leslie Morgan Steiner
Domestic abuse is not okay. We know that. Yet, it continues to happen.
If you know someone who is being abused, or you think something isn’t quite right, let your friend know that you are there for them, no judgment. Offer to assist in getting them help.
For more information, or to get help or advice, please click on the following links:
The National Domestic Violence Hotline:
National Domestic Violence Hotline website.