Supporting Other Women: Talk Behind Their Backs

Recently I attended a women’s entrepreneurial event in Chicago called the Women’s Success Summit.  I met some pretty awesome, and inspiring women: Driven, emerging adults as well as self-actualized, grown-ass women. Whether these incredible women are finding their way developing their businesses or making seven figures, the common theme that permeated the environment was …

LIFT UP and SUPPORT other women.

Do not view women as competition, but rather seek them out as a complement to your own world.

We see it all the time. We judge others on

Appearance

Income

Career

Lifestyle

Friends

Children

Personality

You name it.

Envy can instill an unhealthy and untrue view about the people we envy – and about ourselves!

This is so important to acknowledge when we are addressing adolescent sexuality health.

One crucial issue to discuss with our children is the concept of healthy relationships. Typically we hone in on romantic relationships, but friendships and eventually professional relationships have a significant influence on our mental, emotional, and social health.

Social media has done a tremendous disservice to the population at large when it comes to encouraging envy. Explain to our daughters and sons that what one sees on social media is not a true reflection of what is real in each of our lives.

I have a friend who frequently comments that I never take a bad photo as evidenced by Facebook. Well, let me tell you, most of my photos are bad – but am I going to post those? Heck, no! Do I post photos of me in my grungy clothes, no make-up, reading glasses askew, messy hair, flab hanging out while I slump over a computer all day? Heck, no! That is my real world reality. As I view photos my friends post about the fun they are having, the friends they are with, the trips they are enjoying,  I understand they are no different than I am! They are merely posting exceptional moments in their lives, not the daily ho-hum world we all live in.

Teach your children…

We need to be sure our children understand no one person is any “better” or any “worse” comparatively. Just different. And these differences are what add dimension to our lives. Wasting time envying another person only serves to drag us down.

You are a role model. No matter your income level, whether or not you are employed, or even if you may or may not have children, there are young girls watching you. And learning from you. And forming ideas about the world based on their observations of you. Be a strong, upstanding individual who talks about others, especially women, behind their backs. Yes, you heard me. This is the kind of stuff we need to be saying:

“She has a kind heart.”

“She works so hard.”

“She is a special friend.”

“She looks amazing – her workouts have paid off!”

“She is someone I admire.”

“She’s come through some tough times – she is remarkable.”

If other women bug you – and they will! – understand that they are living their own story. Respect them. Talking about others negatively does not serve any good purpose.

Am I so perfect? Ah, no. It is so easy to get caught up in negative conversation (i.e. gossip). But each time I bite my tongue, I sleep a little easier.

My turn…

On that note, I am going to practice what I preach. I want to lift up the women I interacted with at the summit and support their passions. Interestingly, all their businesses revolve around some aspect of helping others. (Women rock!)  I am not necessarily promoting their businesses, I am merely promoting bad-ass, strong women who have built or are building their businesses with passion and hard work, and who inspire other women to find their passion and find success.

Jill Salzman of The Founding Moms. Really, really bad-ass superwoman. (In fact, I am a member of Founding Moms.)

Staci Boyer of Motiv8n’U. Check out her inspiring Dear Woman collection of wisdom and art.

Ruby Garcia of Ruby Garcia Coaching. She can change your world.

Laura Brown of Community Inclusion Consulting, LLC. Her passion is assisting autistic and other special needs kids.

Sophie Morrison of Downtown Apartment Company. This young lady is going places.

Elizabeth Colon of Metaphrasis Language and Cultural Solutions.

LeeAnn Marie Webster of Totally Telesummits.

Linda Alberty of Cultivate Excellence Consulting.

Ruth Bernal of Work Force Works/Bernal Industries.

Michelle Villalobos and Jennifer Vera of Mivista Consulting.

Tammy Oberg De La Garza, University Professor and author of Salsa Dancing in Gym Shoes and Dare to Respect.

Your turn…

I challenge my readers to be an example for your daughters (and sons!) and support other women in your world. Talk about them behind their backs, just as I have done with the women listed above. Ask your daughters about the super cool qualities they see in their friends and family, especially if they start complaining about them! No one is perfect, but we can certainly focus on the good qualities we all have.

You, my dear readers, are pretty awesome! I really appreciate how much you care about the young people in your world and truly want to make a difference in their lives. (Wink.)

(Photos courtesy of Adobe Stock.)